Man's bitter battle

Many men don't realize it, but there is an epic battle raging between man's testicles and his wife.

When men are born god gave us two testicles. Our testicles are everything to us. We live so they can enjoy life.

Although they don't see the light of day often, they still are masters of their domain.

As man grows so grow his balls. They seem to take on a life of their own.

At an early age, man learns to control his testicles and use them to his advantage.

Our testicles grant us strength and independence, some might even say wisdom.

When man meets woman, his testicles lure him in for, what at that given time seems like eternal pleasure. unbeknown to his testicles, this is the beginning of the end for them.

During the dating period the female mentally massages the testicles into a false comfort zone. As far as the testicle know and care they are in their element.

It is all good until the man and woman arrive at the altar of marriage.
In a some what painless procedure the woman removes the man's right testicle during the ceremony, and so begins the epic struggle to hold onto your last testicle, your Left Nut.

Many men will say "not me, I'm the man of the house. I wear the pants. I rule the roost."

I say Ha! I thought so too.

I was hanging one night with "Zed" and the "Lead Singer" when we started to talk about how married man has no control.

Examples:

The Thinker is married and he is really not allowed to hang with out his wife. We have determined that she has both his nuts but gives him the false feeling that he still controls the Left Nut. .

The Philosopher stopped by during our discussion with his wife. Lead Singer got some new music he wanted him to hear. After 10 minutes she was telling him it was time to go, but that "he could come back" Zed and I did everything in our power to get him to stay but he wouldn't. He said he would be back in 5 minutes. He wasn't.

Not only does she have both of his balls but she periodically takes them out and smacks him in the face with them.

Zed's wife called and told him "she wants him to come home and hang". Translation - get your ass home now before I make you pay for it with your other nut. You can see the tug of war Zed is going through.

He fained strength by saying "ill go home, chill with her, and come back." Yeah, ok, good luck with that.

Finally there is me. I know where my nuts are and who controls them as evident by the following text conversation I had with the Mute, (who, since he is single, is very in control of his testicles) on the way home from a day out with the family. .

Me: Yo what's up
Mute: On my way back from school.
Me: Cool, u wanna chill
Mute: Sure

Wife: Who are texting
Me: The Mute
Wife: About?
Me: Chilling out

Me: Yo!
Mute: Sup?
Me: Sorry bro wifey says I can't come out and play tonight.

The way I see it: Adam gave Eve his rib and in return, Eve snatched his nut. That is the first documented testicle tug of war.